Rights and Wrongs..

I really must pull my socks up, mostly metaphorically of course. This month I have been even worse at writing my Blog, and catching up with Blogging Friends. It's been a busy and somewhat tricky month, but I ought to be confiding in my Dear Diary instead of keeping it all under wraps!

I did manage to put on a picture of the kittens (see above right), which is now somewhat out of date. They have their eyes open and can almost walk now - and Tinkerbell is an exemplary mother. She tidies them all up, licks them into shape and then lies down to feed them, with a blissful expression on her little face. They all have homes to go to when they are ready, and one of the little darlings is going to KT and Hon Grandaughter, who are moving out on Friday, after nearly three months here with me. I must say that it has been lovely to have them (KT and HG I mean, not the kittens), not a chore at all, and I will really miss them. Friday is, coincidentally, the day I go on holiday for a week, so everything has turned out pretty well, timing-wise. I'm off to Tenerife with my Aristocratic BF. She has a Timeshare which offers the occasional bargain, so we are going to have a very cheap and cheerful week away. I'm looking forward to just lying in the sun, with book and cocktail close at hand, and the occasional dip in the pool will be the icing on the cake. When I get back I have a new Student coming to stay, so hopefully there will be more interesting news. And I promise to be a better correspondent and a more regular visitor to all my Blogging Friends.

There has been a bit of an upset regarding Daughter and The Boyfriend. I had Grandson for a week of his Easter Holiday, and it was then - when there were no children or other distractions - that they discovered that their relationship wasn't going so well. We had a pretty frantic weekend, (a week ago) when it seemed that everything was falling apart, and Daughter was ready to move back here with Grandson on the spot. However, it now seems to have calmed down. I don't pretend to know what the outcome will be, but Daughter and The Boyfriend have talked things through and she has asked for some time to think, so we are all waiting to see what will happen. Of course I immediately thought "what a good thing they didn't buy that house!" There's always a reason for these things. Apparently Daughter has been aware for some time that things weren't right. (And I must say that having the worry and stress of the Pre-Cancerous cells and the Colposcopies can't have helped.) But they had just fallen into a routine of not talking to each other, until the absence of Grandson meant that they had no choice but to communicate. It hasn't helped that Daughter said to me " Mum, you were right - you're always right." Hah! Somehow, I know that means I'm in the wrong again...

Simply the Best.

D'you know, it was simply the best Easter. I had two days of complete peace and quiet on Friday and Saturday, and then Sunday and Monday turned out to be frantically social and busy. On Sunday morning Gay Friend and I went to the "last ever" Car Boot Sale at Brighton Station. They have been threatening this for ages, but Sunday was finally the day. It was a bright morning, and we wandered around buying lovely bits and pieces before sitting down for a bacon sarnie and a cup of tea. Most of the stall holders we talked to are planning to transfer to the new site, which is at Brighton Marina. This is not a terribly popular move, because those of us who have lived here for a while don't particularly like the Marina. It has one saving grace, which is free parking, but otherwise it is not a favourite place to visit. It has none of the magical glamour of other Marinas I have seen on the Continent. In France or Portugal, for example, they are gorgeous places where one can sit ouside a cafe or bar and sip coffee or a cocktail while watching fabulous yachts bobbing at anchor, and the equally fabulous owners bobbing around in their designer clothes. At Brighton Marina one is always dodging the rain or sheltering from the prevailing winds. It's not a pretty place, being constructed mostly of grey concrete, and though the little boats are nice enough, there's nothing glamorous about it. It's more like a bus station than a Marina somehow. A watery Bus Station. Anyway, if we want to buy and sell our hoarded rubbish in future, it will have to be at the Marina, not the Railway Station. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.


Then I got a phone call from Son to say that he was on his way down! Surprise, surprise. And he was driving down with his girlfriend. I had already planned to go out for a Pub Quiz that evening, and had been invited for dinner beforehand by one of the Spritzer Sisters. Son seemed happy to consider joining in the Pub Quiz, and being an honorary Spritzer Sister for the evening, though he didn't fancy coming to dinner before. In the end, he and Emma drifted off into town to look around and eat fish and chips, and we arranged to meet in the pub later. It was great fun, though the Pub Quiz was late starting because a crowd of 40 or so pub-crawlers made so much noise we couldn't hear a thing. In the end we came second in the main quiz, and we won the music and picture round section (with the help of a bit of cheating I'm sorry to say). We won two bottles of wine, one white, one red, and I didn't get home until 1a.m! Son and his girlfriend carried on the evening at a drum and bass event, staying out all night I think, and came back to sleep in the single bed. Great fun. And the next morning Daughter and Grandson turned up ready for Easter activities. So I hid some chocolate eggs in the garden and then cooked industrial quantities of eggs and bacon for everyone's breakfasts. What larks!

In the afternoon we all landed on the lovely Roz, downstairs, for her Barbeque. It was a stunning day, and Son did help Roz to put the barbeque together - it was one of those tricky kit things from Tesco - and then we all sat and drank cocktails and ate barbequed chicken, burgers, sausages and vegetable kebabs, all with wonderful side salads and various goodies. It was a real feast, and since there were five of us there: Son and his Girlfriend, Daughter, Grandson, and me, she really was feeding the five thousand (my family are all good eaters!). And that's without counting her other guests. The lovely thing about Roz is that she adores having a houseful of people, particularly children, and so of course people love coming to her parties.We did have a terrific time sitting in the sun, and only left when Son decided it was time to drive back, ditto Daughter, leaving me with Grandson. And of course KT and Hon Grandaughter arrived back home just as soon as everyone else left! It really was a fun-filled weekend, and I had a gorgeous exotic Easter plant from Daughter and a fabulous photographic print from Son, brought back from Argentina. Altogether it was a great holiday, and lovely to see all my nearest and dearest.

A Happy Easter..

Daughter phoned me early yesterday to say that she had been for her 8.30am appointment with the Doctor to discuss the position with her pre-cancerous cells and the Colposcopies. Luckily she got a young-ish woman doctor who was most sensitive to her concerns, and also knew quite a lot about the subject. (Apparently she had done her "gynie" training with the Specialist who had seen and examined Daughter last time.) This Doctor was able to reassure Daughter that CIN1 and 2 are not something to particularly worry about, CIN3 is the worst, and even that is still pre-cancerous. She explained that if these earlier warnings are ignored, then perhaps 10 years down the line, they could become cancerous. However, she did take some swabs, because Daughter told her about the excessive bleeding she has been experiencing, and the Doc. did some other tests, plus an internal examination. Daughter is going back to see her when all the results are in, and they will decide on a course of action then. Daughter was immensely relieved, and so was I of course. It was a very good start to the day.

Next, they went off to London to meet up with Son and have some lunch. They went to Son's office first, so that everyone there could meet Grandson, and it was a great success. Apparently Grandson went into the Studio and was (sort of) playing the keyboards and generally entertaining everyone. He had a grand time, and Son had bought him a Spurs shirt as a present. It may be a bit big now, but he'll be proudly wearing it soon, I bet. T-Shirts were rather the theme of the day, as I had sent Son a rather gorgeous Pink Floyd one which arrived while he was in Argentina. Sadly it was too big - so Daughter had to snaffle it from the office so that I can return it and get a replacement. Actually, the company in question DJTees , was so wonderful when I telephoned them, that they are sending a replacement before I even return the wrong one! How amazing is that in this day and age? They are trusting me. I wish them a very happy and profitable future - they deserve it.

I'm having a quiet Easter, which suits me fine. It's cold and rainy today, so I'm going to hunker down with some wholemeal Hot Cross Buns and some little chocolate Easter Eggs for company. Hon. Grandaughter is staying with her Dad this week, and KT is out until later, so a cosy film sounds just right. I hope the weather picks up a bit though, because I want to get out into my garden and finish clearing out the plants which died this year. I've lost all the South African daisies, not surprisingly, and will need to replace quite a few things. I also need to cut the grass and hide a couple of dozen chocolate eggs. Daughter, Grandson and the Boyfriend will be here on Monday for the Easter Egg Hunt, and so will Hon. Grandaughter and KT. My lovely neighbour, Roz, is planning a Barbeque for Monday too, so if we are going to enjoy all those delights, we need a bit of sunshine and warmth. Let's hope it does cheer up a bit.

A Happy Easter to all my lovely Blogging Friends and their families.. I hope you all enjoy your eggs (chocolate or otherwise), your buns, and your precious days together.

Spring is sprung, the grass is riz..

It's definitely Spring here, sunny and cold, we're awash with daffodils and the pond is full of tiny tadpoles again. Daughter and Grandson were here for the day today as they are both on holiday this week, so we went for a stroll in the sun to browse the shops in George Street. It was so lovely that we were tempted to sit outside and have some lunch in one of the cafes.. brrr... Fine at the start, but by the time we had our food delivered to our table (wrong order twice!) we were all shivering, Grandson had retreated to his buggy and Daughter had given him her scarf and denim jacket to keep him warm. Typical Spring weather. We beat a hasty retreat , and sat at home with a cup of tea instead. Even on the balcony it was a touch too breezy.

I'm putting on a photo, hopefully, as Daughter was here to show me the error of my ways this afternoon. Here she is, looking incredibly beautiful I think - not that I can take any credit for that - she is just beautiful!


Grandson had his first sleepover with a friend last night. He went to stay with Thomas, his partner in crime at school, and apparently they stayed awake talking until Thomas's Mum, Wendy, finally put a stop to it at 11.15pm! No wonder then that he was tired and wanted to sit in his buggy today. Daughter said that when he came home this morning he looked somehow older - more mature probably! It's a big step, staying away from home, without family, for the first time. When I asked him about it, he just shrugged it off - and when his Mum asked him what they were talking about all night he said - guess what - NOTHING :-)

Having Kittens... Literally...

It's the last day of March, to state the obvious, and I can hardly believe the way the year is cantering on already. And it's lighter because of Summer Time - but still blooming freezing here.
What news from Hove? Well Daughter has finally reached her Weightwatchers Goal Weight - an amazing 10st. 12lbs, which is a huge achievement for her, since her decidedly porky days when she had Grandson as a wee baby and was dumped by the bastard bloke. It has taken her this four and a half years to fully regain her self-esteem and her previous gorgeousness - and I really will try and put on a photo of her as she is now, just to show you how wonderful she looks. Next news, hot off the press, is that their "kitten" Tinkerbell has just had five kittens - the naughty baggage was obviously out having sex at a very early age, and is now suffering the dreaded consequences. Daughter wanted to have her spayed, but the Boyfriend didn't - he thought she should at least have the chance to have kittens before she was "done". So he is in charge of looking after and finding homes for the little newcomers. He says he doesn't think they need looking after, but I guess he'll find out..

Son is back from Argentina, and phoned to have a chat on Sunday evening. He obviously had a really wonderful trip, and was exhausted when he got back. I am hoping for a few of his photos too, so that you can see some of what he got up to. He has also been asked to be Best Man for his old mate Ed, who now lives in Australia. Ed and his intended are getting married in Thailand in January, so that will be another great trip for Son. And he is hoping to celebrate his 30th somewhere in Africa with a crowd of friends - apparently there is a Music Festival there in October. There is also talk of New York some time next year. And I expect he will be off to the film Festival in Cannes again this year! Oh what a great life.

I've been pretty quiet about myself lately because of the continuing Therapy which I'm having every other week. It has been very interesting and sometimes very painful and traumatic (both physically and emotionally). I've been through what I can only describe as "re-birthing", I've re-lived the time around the Brain Tumour (see my previous posts) and the births of both my children. Plus the inevitable emotions around relationships with parents and partners. And I have come to realize that I have buried a lot of rubbish in the past, just so that I could cope with life generally on a day-to-day basis. I'm sure that this isn't unusual. Many of my friends have been through piles of shite in their lives, and so have many of my Blogging Friends, I know.
And Blogging is pretty good therapy in its own right, I think. I've been keeping this diary on and off for nearly two years now, and I know that it has been therapeutic for me. It has certainly been wonderful to have the comments and support of all you Bloggers out there. Without it, I don't think I would be putting myself through this latest emotional struggle. It's strange how a bunch of complete strangers can turn into real friends who bring a smile to my face every day, without exception. Thank you again. I really appreciate it.

By the way.. anyone want a kitten?

The Early Bird

Surprisingly for me, I'm up and busily catching worms this morning. My London BF Sue came down yesterday for a belated Birthday treat (for me) and we went out to the gorgeous L'Eglise restaurant which just happens to be a short stagger across the road. There we met up with two more friends of hers, who live in Hassocks, and had superb food (as always), good wine and lots of good conversation. Somehow being late to bed nearly always means I'm awake early, hence the worm-catching.

As I sat with Heinrich chatting over breakfast (well, not exactly chatting, but you know what I mean) I looked out of the window and saw a tiny silver aeroplane winging its way, high in the blue sky, towards the airport, and wondered if it might be Son on his way home. Maybe, maybe not, but it was a nice thought. He is due home this morning from Argentina, so it could have been I guess. I had a lovely message from him, via one of his friends, late on Sunday evening. Apparently he had been trying to call me for Mother's day and hadn't been able to get through. He was sitting beside the pool in a hotel in Iguazu on the border between Brazil and Argentina, where he had gone to see the waterfalls. Sounds just wonderful doesn't it?

My Aristocratic BF is planning a special Garden Party for her 70th Birthday on 31st May, and I have been volunteered to design and print the party Invitation. She has the most lovely garden, near Sissinghurst in Kent, so it will be perfect if we get the weather. Anyway, I sat down at my easel today and painted a gorgeous garden party hat with flowers and ribbons, in soft, smudgy pink and green watercolours. Somehow, it just came out right, so I'm not going to fiddle with it and spoil it. My next challenge is to paint some little cupcakes to decorate the other corner of the invitation, and then I can hotfoot it up to David, Son's lovely friend, who can put it all on computer for me, and then print it. Otherwise I'd have to get out my old John Bull Printing Outfit and do it myself - perhaps not :-)

Mothering Sunday.

Oh well, I just haven't been able to keep up my diary lately, no excuses really. Yesterday was such a lovely day though, and it occurred to me that I'm letting all these days go by without marking them in any way. That's how life just slips by, I guess. I don't mean to sound at all melancholy, but what with poor Natasha Richardson's tragic accident last week, and then Jade Goody's well-publicized early departure, it just makes me more conscious of my mortality. And wasn't it terribly poignant that Jade Goody should die in the early hours of Mother's Day? Poor little thing, she was only 27, and hadn't had much of a start in life. She was a character, and didn't give a fig for the rest of the world. I cringed every time I heard her talking, but she did her best with the gifts she had been given. Personally, I can't bear the thought of her boys, and Natasha Richardson's boys, growing up without their Mothers. It brought back my own experience with awful clarity. When my brain tumour was diagnosed, I was sent home to make a will and make arrangements for the care of my two children because no-one could guarantee that I would survive the operation. And even if I did, they were pretty sure that I would be disabled in some way. It was quite clear that my ex-husband didn't expect me to survive either (and was rather hoping that I wouldn't). He clearly expected to take over both my house and the children, though he did make the mistake of telling me that his wife-to-be probably wouldn't want the children, and that therefore they would be sent away to school. (Bear in mind that they were then eighteen months and three and three quarters!) It was a tough week, not least because I was feeling pretty ill by then, but I did make a will, and made sure that he wouldn't get his hands on either the children or the house. Luckily my Sister and some of my good friends were prepared to make sure of that. Not only that, but I was determined to survive because I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing my children grow up. Even now, when they are 27 and 29, remembering it just tears me apart.

Anyway, survive I did, against all the odds, and I vividly remember waking up after the operation and realizing that I was actually alive. I was on a trolley in Intensive Care, and though I couldn't move an inch, I felt such a surge of joy that I could have jumped off that trolley and run around the room. I was so lucky. Poor Jade wasn't - and I do hope her little boys will be loved and cared for as she would have wished. Poor Natasha wasn't either, and didn't even have a chance to say goodbye to her children. My heart goes out to them, and to her grieving family. How lucky we are, those of us who have survived what life throws at us. And how wonderful life is. Isn't it? I surely am one lucky Mother.