Staying at Home...

      Actually I'm going to ignore the so-called advice from our incompetent PM and stay at home as much as possible. I annoyed my Daughter last night when she asked me if I had watched Boris on TV and I admitted that I hadn't. Her angry response was that I'm lucky I don't have to go out to work or worry about sending children to school - and of course she is right and I am (once again) in the wrong. It's ok for me, was the implication, because I'm a pensioner and don't have to find the money to pay rent!! There was really no answer, except I'm pretty sure that I am one of the expendables (in the malevolent eyes of  Dominic Cummings, advisor-in-chief to our PM, who patently doesn't give a shit about getting rid of us oldies). I couldn't say that of course without inflaming the situation further so I just avoided any further comment. I do worry about her though,  because she is anxious to get back to her normal routine which means sending Granddaughter back to school too. How you keep children of 5 and 6 at a safe distance from each other I don't know - it's a minefield and could be really dangerous. How will we know who has been in touch with whom, and whether they have the bloody virus. A silent enemy is always dangerous, but one which is also invisible is impossible to deal with. I have no answers, I only wish I did, but in the meantime I'm staying home.
      Blowing hot and cold is the weather at the mo! I'm still occupied with sorting out my bit of front garden and waiting for the seeds to germinate and show themselves. I also, quite accidentally, inspired my neighbour to get to grips with her front garden, which was terribly overgrown with ancient shrubs. She has cleared them all and we were actually sewing grass seed together. Very companionable. I also went down to the beach and collected some large-ish stones to edge my border and am very pleased with the result. There was practically no-one about on Shoreham Beach, so it wasn't difficult to be socially distant - I combined my daily walk with collecting a few stones and felt that I had actually accomplished something And I don't think the beach will miss my stones - though I acknowledge that we wouldn't want everyone to do the same. That's about the extent of my misdemeanors for the time being. I'll try not to upset Daughter again, and I'll keep away from those tempting stones.
      I know my place.
       

Another day, another dinner...

      In this time of Corona Virus, meals are becoming all-important aren't they? When  I speak to friends, which I do every day to save my sanity, we always discuss what we might be having for supper and compare notes. The lucky ones are those who are growing their own vegetables, like my Aristocratic BF who has an enormous garden (and two chaps to help) and who grows just about every vegetable: potatoes, beans, tomatoes, kale, broad beans, lettuce, radishes and even asparagus! She is also growing strawberries (wild and cultivated) and raspberries. So her cup, or plate, is overflowing. I must admit I'm pretty envious, especially about the asparagus and the raspberries. However, I am re-doing my little front garden and putting some edible treats in pots, where I hope they will thrive in the sun:  I am sewing spinach seeds (the everlasting variety) and nasturtiums because you can eat the leaves, flowers and the seeds (and they are lovely to look at too). I also have a couple of green bean seedlings which I hope will flourish in pots and I  have two wild strawberry plants which simply appeared in the garden. I'm also taking cuttings of Sage and Rosemary to go with my self-seeded Chives and the aforementioned Aristocratic BF has promised to send me a root of mint too. As I am inexplicably off vegetables in general, those should keep me going. I can still manage Spinach and Carrots but the thought of Broccoli or Cabbage or Kale makes me feel physically sick! Weird I know, but there it is.
      My most successful meals so far have been chicken breast wrapped in bacon (cooked in the oven with a sprinkling of garlic, herbs and wine) and dear little lamb chops treated in much the same way, both with the addition of Aunt Bessie's Roast Potatoes! These last were a gift from my nextdoor neighbour, courtesy of the Co-op who were giving them away one day last week. I had never tried them before, but I have to tell you that they are amazing. When I think of all the years I have spent peeling, par-boiling, shaking them in flour to fluff them up and then popping them in with the roast,
I do wonder. Aunt Bessie's are just popped into a hot oven for half an hour and come out perfectly cooked. Sorry if this is beginning to sound like an advertisement,  but they are truly sublime
       Heigh-ho! I'm obviously another victim of lock-down deprivation, but I think I'm staying sane. Only time will tell :))

Virtual Life...

      It's funny, but as life becomes more strange, the more we try and make it seem like normal. This last week, for example, I took part in a virtual Pub Quiz with Daughter, her Partner and some of their friends, We all had our individual glasses of wine and were sat on our individual sofas, and we wrote our answers on our individual pieces of paper. It gave us the illusion of being part of a team, though of course we were all in competition with each other. See what I mean by strange? We could see each other and talk to each  other, but no touching allowed. And actually there was no team spirit either, we all, individually, wanted to win! Weird. Of course I didn't win - there was only one of me, while  the others all had partners and so got two bites of the cherry, metaphorically speaking. I did enjoy the experience though, and will probably do it again this week.
      Another thing I've agreed to is a video/phone chat with some old friends on Tuesday morning.  We have agreed to virtually meet at 11.30 (coffee time) and will no doubt exchange Corona Virus experiences and points of view.  They are very old friends, so we can be absolutely honest with each other and I guess it will be a virtual success.
      Before I go, I just have to comment on the dreadful orange POTUS's latest foray into Corona Virus "cures". What is he thinking of when he recommends that disinfectant, or even bleach, taken internally, could be a cure?? My first thought was that he was trying to kill off half of America, but surely not? If it wasn't so dreadful, it would be the best joke of the year. The man is seriously deranged if not completely mad. I pity America, with such a clown in control what chance do they have? And that is not a rhetorical question.

Solitude in the time of Corona Virus...

      It is Saturday and the radio keeps me company as usual. Everywhere it is unusually quiet. The loudest sound is birdsong, and even the buzzing of bees is loud when I go outside. There are no aeroplanes overhead.  Nor is there any noise of traffic, even in the distance. It is all slightly unreal, though becoming more normal every day.
      Of course not everyone is alone at this time, and for some it is a time of heightened anxiety and plain fear: those who are at risk of domestic violence are in a fearful position from which there is no escape. I remember the very brief time when I was in a similar situation: I was madly in love with  a very charismatic man who was totally charming , loving and reasonable when he was sober, and a monster when he was drunk. I lived in fear for a while, and finally escaped from the relationship by having a nervous breakdown! Luckily for me he was reasonable enough to let me go - but I can imagine the terror and horror of being trapped in that situation. I feel so strongly that families in similar situations should be protected at all costs. I was very lucky that I was helped out of that affair by an understanding employer and an excellent  therapist,  and by the ability to simply sit in silence, with  tears rolling down my cheeks, until the fear had passed. It took three months of total retreat and complete solitude - my mind was allowed to drift and heal until I could cope with normal life again. And in case you wonder why I have taken  this stroll down memory lane, I'm sure that experience has allowed me to cope with every hit I have taken since: divorce, single parenthood, a brain tumour, all have been water under the bridge. And now Corona Virus, the biggest global disaster to hit humanity for 100 years, is giving millions of people an extended dose of solitude at the very least. For some it has meant awful sickness, mortal danger and even bereavement. Our Doctors and Nurses are struggling to deal with this, but are underprotected and under-equipped, and we have an incompetent Government which refuses to acknowledge any responsibility. And this state of affairs is set to  continue for god knows how long. Perhaps until we have truly learned respect for our planet, and the value of humanity and compassion in our lives.
      I don't hesitate to say that I feel very fortunate at this moment (fingers crossed) that I cope quite cheerfully with this imposed solitude, and that  my beloved family are all safe and sound, and healthy. May we all come through this somehow, living to face another day in a better world.

Nearly Easter...

      It's sunny and warm today, and we are another week into lockdown and one week into April. So far all my family are well and coping with the situation. I cannot stress how lucky I feel just to be able to say that. All over the world families are losing fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, children: all relations of every kind and all ages it seems, are at risk from this ghastly virus. My Daughter, who is a hero to me, is juggling her job (working from home), the family of six (and the dog), doing the shopping for them and for me, and remaining both cheerful and positive while  keeping all the balls in the air! Of course I know that so many people are far  worse off than we are, and I'm eternally grateful that we are keeping healthy. Wherever you are, I wish the same for you.
      In the meantime, I'm doing a bit of work in my garden, which is a small blessing in itself. I may not much like living in Shoreham, but I must say it has come into its own now because my house is tucked away in a quiet spot with just a few neighbours and we have a lovely area of grass and trees where we can sit out and the children can play while still keeping a safe distance from other people.
And I have been regularly Skyping with my Son's family in Spain. They are in even more lockdown than we are, and only one person can go out at a time to do essential shopping. My little Grandson hasn't been out for 4 weeks now, and we have been doing drawing and colouring on Skype just to keep everyone going reasonably. Luckily they have the most wonderful terrace/balcony with amazing views over Sitges from the sea to the mountains. So they have fresh air, and can sit and eat outside in the sun. I think they are managing brilliantly and keeping pretty cheerful.
      Strange isn't it that suddenly there is only one subject we are all concerned with: the daily news and the latest from around the world, numbers of new cases, people in hospitals and deaths. And because we all want to survive, this is all that really interests us.
      And in case you wonder why I'm not including news of our Prime Minister in my blog, it's because I  don't have a great deal to say on the subject. He may, in due course, regret the fact that he and his despicable bunch of Tories cheered as they voted down long-overdue increases in salaries for Doctors and Nurses not so long ago. I wish him well to have the good luck to survive the virus and show his long-overdue appreciation for our NHS. Nuff said!

Still here..

      It's Tuesday and the lockdown is really biting throughout most of the world. How strange that we, who are very social beings, should be shut away in our own spaces for the foreseeable future in case we spread the virus. And here the internet really comes into its own - I know that I would feel totally cut off if I couldn't contact friends and family by Skype or Facetime, and even just by phone. Just think that my Grandmother (who was born in 1875) would not use the telephone because she thought it was a scary invention. In many ways, I guess she was right, but where would we be without it now?

      On Sunday it was little Grandson's sixth Birthday, and as they are in total lockdown in Sitges, he couldn't have the usual jolly party with all his friends. Instead we had a Skype call which included his other Grandmother in Warsaw, and which was pretty jolly anyway. Daughter-in-Law had made a chocolate cake with chocolate icing and sliced strawberries on top, and six candles of course. So we all sang Happy Birthday and he blew out the candles. He was in very good spirits and it was lovely to be able to see them. They are so fortunate because they chose an apartment with a wide, sunny terrace and with views over Sitges to the sea and the mountains.(Being in lockdown in an apartment with no outside space must be a complete nightmare, especially with small children.) And Son has so far been able to work remotely on his computer, which we hope will continue.  

      Daughter is similarly fortunate because although they are all (all six of them) more or less at home together, they have a lovely garden and the weather has been nice enough for the little girls to be outside much of the time. Big Grandson hasn't really changed his routine, he's just chillin' in his room mostly and texting his friends - which is how they contacted each other before the virus anyway. The big difference is that his GCSE exams have been cancelled, and who knows when they might be re-scheduled. The family have a sports field just behind the house, so they can walk the dog on their once a day exercise outing. And Daughter and Partner have also been able to hold on to their jobs too, so far, so I can only keep fingers and everything crossed for them.

      None of this is particularly good news of course, but keeping it in perspective we are all relatively lucky so far. And worldwide the skies are clearing; we can all breathe easier as pollution is magically disappearing. Our man-made climate emergency has been replaced by another, viral, emergency - one equally of our own making which poses a more immediate threat.

      Will the world listen this time, I wonder?

      

In Lockdown...

      Here we are in the second week of lockdown, and while it may be an inconvenience to me as an oldie (and one of the apparently most vulnerable) it has to be so much worse for our children and grandchildren who are maybe not as likely to die from the virus, but are having to deal with losing their jobs and income and maybe their homes too! Their lives will probably never be the same again. It's truly appalling, and I have to say that we who have lived privileged lives for the last forty or so years  have a lot to answer for.
      In general, I would say that we have not deserved this wonderful Planet which we have abused in so many ways. We have built cities that are major polluters of our atmosphere, we have consigned millions of disadvantaged people to poverty starvation and homelessness, we have almost constantly been at war with each other, needlessly killing millions of innocent people, we have glorified greed, profit and selfishness, we have celebrated corruption in our politicians, and nothing, NOTHING, has stopped us until now!
      Perhaps the Planet is now saying ENOUGH. And quite right too. Fear not, our Planet will survive without us, in fact it will probably be in much better shape without us. Let us see how this turns out.
      For myself, I hope beyond anything that my beloved children and grandchildren will survive to make some sense of what they are left with. Please god the corrupt clowns who are currently mishandling every aspect of this tragedy will actually get their just desserts and disappear from this earth just as previous dinosaurs have done. It is a conclusion devoutly to be wished.
      I will be back, I hope.