Monday, November 16, 2020

Single Parenting.

             I haven't really written about this for a while - mostly because when your children are grown up with children of their own, it seems rather pointless. However, having  had BG here for the weekend, I was reminded of some of the experiences I had as a single parent. BG reminded  me, somewhat obliquely, because when I asked him what he had bought with his fiver last week he said he had actually given it to a friend at College because she didn't have the necessary money to get the bus home. Now BG doesn't have a lot of money, neither does Daughter. There are six of them, and the dog, living on a limited income which is enough for food, clothes and the rent, but not a lot more. I know that means that they are very fortunate, in these troubled times but nevertheless they are not exactly rolling in it. I was moved by BG's generous and kind gesture; when he could  have easily spent his fiver on some cheesy chips, or something similar, he gave it to a friend. He has a generous heart and without being sloppy about it, I was very proud of him -  He  has been brought up by a Single Mother (and a single grandmother :) and is a credit to us both. 

            This thread led me to remember a time when we lived in Cambridge and Son, aged 8 or thereabouts, came home in tears from Primary School and asked me if we were a real family? His Teacher had said that a family consisted only of two parents with children. Son was really upset, and I was really angry. I reassured him that we three (me, Son & Daughter) were absolutely a family, and a happy one, and then I stormed off to the (Church!) School to remonstrate with the Head Teacher. He was fairly apologetic, and promised it wouldn't happen again. At that time Son was the only one in his class who was living with a Single Parent, and Daughter had only one friend in her class who was similarly afflicted. By the time they left Primary School and moved on to Secondary I think there were only a couple of children still living with two parents.  But I clearly recall that I was considered an outsider: there were plenty of what Bridget Jones would call "Smug Marrieds". Looking back, it was an interesting piece of Social History, and it didn't bother me too much because I had an interesting life of my own and some very good friends. 

And as a Post Script, my two turned out pretty well. 

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