Single Parenting.

             I haven't really written about this for a while - mostly because when your children are grown up with children of their own, it seems rather pointless. However, having  had BG here for the weekend, I was reminded of some of the experiences I had as a single parent. BG reminded  me, somewhat obliquely, because when I asked him what he had bought with his fiver last week he said he had actually given it to a friend at College because she didn't have the necessary money to get the bus home. Now BG doesn't have a lot of money, neither does Daughter. There are six of them, and the dog, living on a limited income which is enough for food, clothes and the rent, but not a lot more. I know that means that they are very fortunate, in these troubled times but nevertheless they are not exactly rolling in it. I was moved by BG's generous and kind gesture; when he could  have easily spent his fiver on some cheesy chips, or something similar, he gave it to a friend. He has a generous heart and without being sloppy about it, I was very proud of him -  He  has been brought up by a Single Mother (and a single grandmother :) and is a credit to us both. 

            This thread led me to remember a time when we lived in Cambridge and Son, aged 8 or thereabouts, came home in tears from Primary School and asked me if we were a real family? His Teacher had said that a family consisted only of two parents with children. Son was really upset, and I was really angry. I reassured him that we three (me, Son & Daughter) were absolutely a family, and a happy one, and then I stormed off to the (Church!) School to remonstrate with the Head Teacher. He was fairly apologetic, and promised it wouldn't happen again. At that time Son was the only one in his class who was living with a Single Parent, and Daughter had only one friend in her class who was similarly afflicted. By the time they left Primary School and moved on to Secondary I think there were only a couple of children still living with two parents.  But I clearly recall that I was considered an outsider: there were plenty of what Bridget Jones would call "Smug Marrieds". Looking back, it was an interesting piece of Social History, and it didn't bother me too much because I had an interesting life of my own and some very good friends. 

And as a Post Script, my two turned out pretty well. 

Autumn Leaves...

          As I sit here the sun is shining and the leaves are all turning to red and gold. If only it was a normal Autumn though. It looks pretty much the same, but Oh Dear it's so far from normal. We are still stuck in the middle of  this bloody Virus which apparently keeps changing so that there are so many rules and regs to conform to. Thank God I don't live up North! That would be even more confusing.  And there's the debacle over children and School Meals. How those fat bastards in the so-called Government can vote against feeding hungry, deprived children through the Winter I don't know.  It's disgraceful and I back young Marcus Rashford all the way in his campaign. They (the Fat Bastards) don't think twice about splashing our cash on their chums and their unchecked 'services' - most of which have been proven not to deliver anyway! And the system of "Whipping" in Parliament should be completely  outlawed in my view. Let our so-called  MPs or representatives, actually represent us, their constituents. I don't want my MP sucking up to Boris Johnson or any of his cronies, or reinforcing the fact that the Tories want to screw us over. He (or she) is only there to represent me and has been elected on that basis. Of course we are all entitled to our opinions and we supposedly live in a Democracy. But is it too much to expect a smidge of decency and integrity in our MPs?

            OK, I'll change the subject, but only with reluctance, because I fear we live in very uncertain times. Better news from BG who is still loving his new course at Lewes College. I don't see him much any more, as I may have said before, but that is fine by me if he is happy, and he patently is. It seems my job is done in that area, and I'm happy to have been that Nana.

            This morning have been trying to get through to the Premium Bonds people to bring my details up to date. Forty minutes later I got through, and everyone was very pleasant and helpful. I do feel like an old dodderer at times. and I suppose that will only get worse. I know they don't recommend it,  but I have to write down all my passwords and numbers - otherwise I wouldn't remember them :) 

Ah well, Happy Days, as my dear old friend Lynne used to say ... time to  move on.

Don't speak too soon!

            Of course I was tempting Providence with  my last post. Big Grandson came home from College last Thursday with a nasty cough and on Friday had a temperature, so Daughter booked him a Virus test and they all had to self isolate. They had to wait until Sunday for him to get a test, and in the meantime had to just stay put. I guess the dog could have gone out, but they couldn't!

            Anyway, forty-eight hours after the test (at about 11 o'clock this morning) BG was given the all-clear with a negative test result. What a sigh of relief - though Daughter and I had been pretty sure of the result. So they can all go back to work, school and college tomorrow, and I was allowed into the house to give them all a hug.

            Today is another day - much better as everyone is back to normal. I went out early, after greeting my loverly cleaning ladies, to meet an old friend for a cup of coffee. That passed a couple of hours which were needed in order to exchange all the news on our respective families. And then I went on to a luxurious manicure and pedicure, made all the more wonderful by the fact that I hadn't had either since  before the beginning of the year. Ah well, now I have bright red finger and toenails which are amazing, and very relaxed feet after the massage. 

             No more news for now, so I'm off to do something about my supper. See you later....

             

The Slough of Despond.

                I am not casting aspersions on Slough which is, I'm sure, a perfectly nice place to live. No, I'm actually referring to the state of mind which most of us endure at some time or other: that of feeling so low that life doesn't seem worth living in its current condition. We are in the throes of a dire situation, given the dreaded Pandemic and of course the looming "no deal Brexit" - both of which are giving us a really hard time. What to do? Well if you happen to be a University  student, your options are even more limited than those of  the rest of us. You have to stay put in your accomodation (which by the way is costing you a fortune, whether you are using it or not) you can't go out to the pub or a restaurant, and now there's the prospect of not being allowed to go home for Christmas. What bloody rubbish - and I don't care if they set the Stasi on me - we have to speak out when life becomes so absurd. As far as the rest of us are concerned, we are all being urged to upload this App or that App, follow the guidance issued by the (ridiculously inept) Government and, in other words, DO AS WE ARE TOLD. Well sorry, I'm not doing the bidding of this fat, white, entitled and corrupt  so-called Government. .Nothing will convince me that they have my best interests at heart. So eat that Bojo.

                On a brighter personal note, Big Grandson, who is 16, has started at his 6th Form College in Lewes, where he is taking Art & Design and Photography, plus re-taking Maths, and he is happy as a clam. He likes his Tutors and has met some new mates, which is all wonderful news. He is already very much into the Art subject and is doing some great drawing and really enjoying working on the projects he's been set. This is all great and although the nett result is that he doesn't come to stay with  me, I'm delighted that he is becoming more independent and confident with every day. He is obviously meeting young people with the same interests and talents and is running with it. Long  may it last!

So far the Pandemic has not touched either us as a family, Daughter's workplace or Grandson's College. It does seem strange that there is apparently so much infection around us and yet we remain free of it. So far that is! I hope that you have all been similarly fortunate.

 

11

Eyes Right!

      This week has been almost normal so far -  and it's only Wednesday. On Monday I was  summoned to the Brighton Eye Hospital for a check on my right eye which is afflicted with AMD (Age-related Macular Degeneration). I had been due for a check up in February just as we were beginning to be really aware of the Corona Virus, so my appointment had been postponed. Anyway I had not been back and it was long overdue. I have to admit to being very nervous, not only because the eyes have been a bit blurry, but also because I worried about the condition getting worse. Luckily
though the opinion was that there had been some improvement after the last course of treatment, and they recommended three more injections in the eye over a three month period. All the eye tests, scans and examinations were done without fuss and I have to say that the doctors and nurses were all wonderful: very efficient, kind, thoughtful and, without exception, from the BAME community. It was a sobering experience which made we realise just how much we owe to these people who work for our NHS, which is (at the moment) free and without equal. I made sure to thank each  and every one who treated me and left feeling rather blessed. I  just hope our Government will reward them properly in the future - it's all very well clapping them, but a decent pay rise is long overdue.
      My little garden is crying out for some rain. The roses are all in bloom and looking lovely, but everything is desperately dry. I keep on watering, but they need some proper rain. I'm trying to grow a few edibles, Climbing beans and nasturtiums are climbing well, but the spinach seeds just disappeared  and my strawberry plants are all leaf  and no flower. So far it's a B minus I'm afraid.
      Big Grandson is staying with me for a few days and we are looking forward to watching a bit of football this evening. We are having spaghetti Bolognese and strawberries and ice cream for supper, and will no doubt be glued to the TV. Manchester United are playing and I guess young Marcus Rashford will get a special cheer because of his successful venture into politics in getting the dreadful Boris to agree to feed hungry schoolchildren in the Summer Holidays. Good for him! He grew up with a single-parent Mum and was one of five children, so he knows what he is talking about.
      What a lovely young man!

Help!

      It's Sunday and storm Dennis (the Menace) is doing his worst to upset the whole country, though in all honesty, it's not as bad here as last weekend's storm Ciara. However,I am housebound with big Grandson because it's the start of his Half Term and he doesn't want to do anything except "chill"

which means staring at his phone and playing on his X Box..How he does these both at the same time, I'm not entirely sure, but it does get a bit  boring after a while (for me anyway). It is cold, rainy and miserable outside, so it could be worse; I'm taking him home soon.

      My eye injections have been my most pressing concern for the last three months. I think I  mentioned them before:  I have been to the Brighton Eye Hospital for a course of three injections which will hopefully stop the Age-Related Macular Degeneration getting any worse. (And I must say that anything that is called "Age Related" pisses me off). I will find out in a month, when I go back to the clinic for a re-assessment, whether I need any more treatment. It's not much fun having injections into your eye, but the doctors and nurses at the Eye Hospital are wonderful and very efficient.
      Well I have brought you up to date with that, and since then I have managed to lose one of my shiny new hearing aids. I had a hearing check last week at which I was complaining about the right ear aid which was uncomfortable and had a habit of whistling at me. I didn't get much sympathy from the lady doing the check - her advice was to stick with it. Anyway, the same day I was sitting in |MnS with a cup of tea when it started whistling and itching.. so I pulled it out and shoved it into my coat pocket! And that was the last I saw of it.  I went to Daughter's house later on, threw down my coat on the sofa and completely forgot about it. I feel a bit if a fool, but will probably tell the lady that the dog ate my hearing aid! Daughter's dog that is - she eats absolutely anything - and it seems the most plausible explanation for the disappearance. I looked everywhere, even went back to MnS and checked my pockets over and over.
      I took Grandson back to his house - just for an outing really - and drove straight back. The weather wasn't nearly as frightening here as it was last week, though  I know it  has been dreadful for many people. We have no floods, though there are plenty of big puddles on the roads.
      Looking on my Instagram, I saw that Son and family in Sitges were having a wonderful weekend enjoying a local market which sells lots of vintage stuff and also has live music and yummy food: altogether a lovely thing to do on a sunny day in Spain. Oh how I wish I was there too!
      If wishes were horses etc.... it's no good just wishing, it's action that's needed.
         

    

      

Bye bye July.

      I just can't believe we're at the end of July already. And the school holidays are upon us. Though this year my services have  not been required so far! Big Grandson, being now all of fourteen, has his own ideas of how he wants to spend his days and it's not exactly with his Nana doing nana-ish sort of things. He is going off with his (adopted) Dad for a week next week - they are going to be camping in France, just him and his Father's Father, which I'm sure will be fun. He will be doing French for one of his GCSE subjects, so hopefully they will be speaking a bit of French while they are there. When he comes back I'm planning a day in London at the V&A, including a look at the Frida Kahlo exhibition. He surprised me when I suggested it, thinking that he wouldn't know who she was, but he did and was delighted at the prospect of going. Art is another of his GCSE choices, and he has a pretty enlightened young Art Teacher whom we call Mr. Cool (mainly because he wears a cool leather jacket and rides a cool motorbike to school). I'm pretty sure that Frida Kahlo will be his cup of tea, and he will be interested in her life story. Anyway, that's a plan which meets with his approval so I need to book tickets. Otherwise he seems to be into "chillin" and meeting up with his friends, little Alfie, who comes up to his elbow, and big Kai who is the same huge size as Grandson and with whom he goes to Boxing  on Thursdays - so far so normal.
      Yesterday evening I went to look at a bicycle which was for sale, and  made the mistake of trying to ride it when I could see it was too big and too heavy for me. Haha, I promptly fell over, with the bike on top of me. I screamed and the sweet lady who was selling the bike looked very alarmed and
tried to help me up. I slowly felt around and discovered that I wasn't badly hurt. My chest was painful and I had a job getting up, but no bones broken and only a few bruises. That'll teach me - I really need to acknowledge that I am not as sprightly as I once was.
      Oops I seem to have slipped into August and that's typical of me - I start something and then wander off and forget about it. Ah well, happy August...