In the Wrong... Again.

           It doesn't take much for me to slip backwards into the wrong.. I only have to feel that old familiar apprehension, a lurching of the stomach, and I know I've done it again. I've spoken out of turn. This time I can easily blame the bloody virus, our isolation, and the feeling that we are now cut off from the rest of the world, thanks to Brexit. I want to talk to my children, but I know that they are always busy with their own lives and work. Lucky them. But they are balancing everything,  keeping all the balls in the air, and it's so easy to drop one. With my beloved Daughter it's "Sorry Mum, I'm busy", and with the Spanish crew I just feel so far away in both distance and experience at the mo. I often don't phone them because I just don't know what to say: there is no real "News" only the latest statistics, numbers of infections and deaths and similar cheering facts. I can't even project to when I might be able to visit them again. And though I can visit Daughter and family (thank heavens) there is still not much to talk about. I know I'm far from alone in feeling isolated, and I'm actually more fortunate than many people. It just doesn't feel like it, and I can't really explain why. It's no wonder they feel irritated with me. I do too!

            Birthdays come and go, and we feel just that little bit older with every one. Mine has just gone, and I'm still leaving my cards up to add a little cheer and colour to every day. I had lovely presents, messages from many friends and beautiful flowers delivered to my door. Lucky me! Is it churlish of me to just want to go out for dinner? 

            Big Grandson and I had a very indulgent dinner at the weekend: we went to the big MnS, which is very close, and bought their Valentine's Dinner for Two - oh the joy! We chose Prawn Cocktails, Sirloin Steaks with Garlic Butter and French Fries, and a divine Chocolate Cheesecake for dessert. And we shared a bottle of pink Prosecco plus four heart-shaped chocolates. It couldn't have been nicer. Big Grandson, at sixteen, enjoyed the Prosecco, and I  enjoyed sharing it. Jolly good value and dericious,  as my fondly-remembered Japanese student would have said - she was the vegetarian who loved my roast chicken!! Say no more :)

            Little Grandson's Birthday is coming up, in Spain, and my hoped-for trip is looking less likely with every day. Not only is foreign travel prohibited, but we can't go away in this country either. My lovely Little Grandson will be 7 at the end of March, and we have been hoping that restrictions would be relaxed a bit by then. Doesn't look very hopeful though - sadly. 

            I'm going to stop moaning now and leave you in  peace. It's brightening up here and seems to have stopped raining so I'm going for a walk and I'll try not to annoy anyone. 

Autumn Leaves...

          As I sit here the sun is shining and the leaves are all turning to red and gold. If only it was a normal Autumn though. It looks pretty much the same, but Oh Dear it's so far from normal. We are still stuck in the middle of  this bloody Virus which apparently keeps changing so that there are so many rules and regs to conform to. Thank God I don't live up North! That would be even more confusing.  And there's the debacle over children and School Meals. How those fat bastards in the so-called Government can vote against feeding hungry, deprived children through the Winter I don't know.  It's disgraceful and I back young Marcus Rashford all the way in his campaign. They (the Fat Bastards) don't think twice about splashing our cash on their chums and their unchecked 'services' - most of which have been proven not to deliver anyway! And the system of "Whipping" in Parliament should be completely  outlawed in my view. Let our so-called  MPs or representatives, actually represent us, their constituents. I don't want my MP sucking up to Boris Johnson or any of his cronies, or reinforcing the fact that the Tories want to screw us over. He (or she) is only there to represent me and has been elected on that basis. Of course we are all entitled to our opinions and we supposedly live in a Democracy. But is it too much to expect a smidge of decency and integrity in our MPs?

            OK, I'll change the subject, but only with reluctance, because I fear we live in very uncertain times. Better news from BG who is still loving his new course at Lewes College. I don't see him much any more, as I may have said before, but that is fine by me if he is happy, and he patently is. It seems my job is done in that area, and I'm happy to have been that Nana.

            This morning have been trying to get through to the Premium Bonds people to bring my details up to date. Forty minutes later I got through, and everyone was very pleasant and helpful. I do feel like an old dodderer at times. and I suppose that will only get worse. I know they don't recommend it,  but I have to write down all my passwords and numbers - otherwise I wouldn't remember them :) 

Ah well, Happy Days, as my dear old friend Lynne used to say ... time to  move on.