Wednesday, January 27, 2010

More of the same...

My good intentions are swiftly falling by the wayside. I'm just so busy most of the time, and when I finally sink down at the end of the day, I simply don't have the energy or inclination to tap out a message to you all. Shorthand would seem to be a good idea, if only I knew it, and if only you would understand it! Anyway, we are rubbing along here, still trying to sort out a school place for Grandson - at least we have posted the preference form and will hope to get a reply before too long. My lovely Daughter is now working out her notice at her current job, as it would be too impratical to carry on driving from Brighton to Leatherhead any longer than is necessary. She is working three days a week (Monday, Wednesday and Friday) and I'm having Grandson on those days. Emotionally we are up and down, naturally enough. And I'm, quite frankly, exhausted. (I think that was a split infinitive, but I'm too tired to care!)

Sorry if this is boring - lots is happening, but it's all so emotionally charged that it slips out of my head as soon as it has happened. I can't seems to retain anything for long. I can't remember quite what I did yesterday, and last week is completely out of the question. This is probably all for the best.

Meanwhile, Son and his Girlfriend are on holiday in Thailand, where they have gone for a Wedding and holiday combined. Son is going to be Best Man for an old friend of his (from Cambridge days), who now lives in Australia. The Wedding is this Friday and will be lovely, I'm sure. Son phoned us last Saturday to say how wonderful it is there. They are staying in a blissful hotel on a blissful beach, eating fabulous food and they actually thought of us. Son said that he thinks we should all go there on holiday together. Yes please.

January is nearly over, and it has been a strange old start to this New Year. Full of impossible emotional dramas and stuff that can't somehow be contained. I hope the next month will be an improvement. Anyway, the fire is burning low, my eyelids are drooping again, and I have a new Foreign Student, so will have to be up bright and early to do breakfast in the morning. Life, as they say, goes on. And thank heavens it does...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Diary Update..

These are very interesting times. Since Christmas we haven't really moved far, but so much has been going on under the surface that it doesn't seem to matter. My house has gone from lovely, pristine, cosy and welcoming for Christmas, to overstuffed, very untidy and full of plastic bags with their contents spilling out all over the place. It hasn't helped that my lovely occasional cleaner, Monika, has been more absent than present, as she made a trip home to Poland for the Holidays and hasn't been seen (by me at least) since then. She has phoned a couple of times, so I believe that she is back in the country, but only to say that she can't come because of one drama or another. Her next ETA is Friday afternoon, so I have everything crossed because I'm slowly but surely losing the battle with dust bunnies and washing, bedlinen and clothes etc.

Daughter and Grandson are pretty settled in, and we are rubbing along nicely at the moment. There is a lot to sort out, as you can imagine, and we have been somewhat hampered by the snowy weather, as everyone has. In a way it's a blessing in disguise as schools have been closed and people haven't been able to get to work either, so this enforced containment has helped all of us to come to terms with the new state of affairs. We are investigating local schools, all of which are full, and will be
putting Grandson on a couple of waiting lists once we have looked at them. As he is only 5 and a half, I'm not terribly worried about a bit of waiting, but he is definitely missing the structure of going to school and Daughter is anxious about him missing out. It seems to me that it's probably more important to wait and for him to only have one lot of adjustment; moving schools once is bad enough. Finding somewhere to live is another priority, but it's all going to take time. There are plenty of flats for rent in Brighton and Hove, but apparently it doesn't help that she has a child (?). And our estate agents are a slimy lot on the whole. One in particular keeps phoning her and saying "Oh, of course, you've got the five-year-old." As if she might just have mislaid him since the last phone call. Bastards.

And then there's her job situation - she will have to leave and find a job closer to home, now that Brighton is home again. She is dealing with it all in a calm way, mostly, and is sure that she is on the right path. Watching her, I can only say that I'm proud of the way she is coping. And Grandson is mostly so happy to have his Mum back again that it is going to be well worth all the upheaval.

What about me? Well, see above. I haven't had much chance to do anything other than help with the re-settlement process. And I expect it will go on for a fair few months before we can say that everything is sorted. Poor Daughter has also got to go through the real separation with the (now ex) Boyfriend; sorting their stuff, packing up and moving, hiring a van, putting things in store and then moving herself and Grandson into what will hopefully be their happy new home. I'll drink to that - in fact mine's a very large one!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Belated Thanks..

Thank you so much to Working Mum, one of my very good Blogging Friends - for a lovely award which she was kind enough to give me before Christmas, and which I have been very dilatory in both acknowledging and posting. Many apologies. I know I have been both busy and preoccupied, but that's not a good enough excuse. It is a delight to have this award, and I shall endeavour to be worthy of it. I'd better get on with posting more often for starters. Perhaps that should be my (belated) New Year's Resolution.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

A Happy New Year - you can say that again..

I don't really know where to start, but first of all I'd like to wish all my faithful (and oft-disappointed) followers a very Happy New Year. I would also say a very belated Merry Christmas, but it's far too late for that! I have plenty to tell you, but it's going back a bit, so I'll try and be brief...

When last I blogged, things were looking pretty bad (see above). Just after that it was Daughter's birthday (she was 28 on the 12th) and she ended up coming here to celebrate with a little Birthday tea (jelly, cake and candles, that sort of thing). Son and his Girlfriend came too, and they all went out to celebrate for the evening, with several of her old girlfriends from Cambrige days. So far so good, but the next weekend we had planned to have a heart to heart with Grandson, and to try and explain to him about his real Father. This had us all feeling nervous, mostly because we just wanted it to go as well as possible for the little chap. As you will all be aware, he had been feeling pretty insecure about "family". But in the end, it went amazingly well. He had obviously been anticipating something, and was very receptive to what his Mum and I told him. It was all clearly and honestly explained to him, in simple language, and we drew him a family tree with little illustrations to explain who was who in our family. We had some photos of when he was born, and they showed who was there at the birth: Me, Daughter, real Father and (of course) Grandson who slipped out looking decidedly blue, with the cord around his neck! Son was also there in the hospital, as was my Ex-Husband (with wife number 4), real Father's Mother and her Boyfriend (I know, I know), so it was quite a crowd in the waiting room. Anyway, the dreaded truth-telling went extremely well, and Grandson came out of it feeling fine about himself. And wanting to meet his real Father of course - more on that later!

During the next week Grandson stayed with me as he was on holiday from school and Daughter was at work - we also thought it would be good for him to feel really secure here just in case he wanted to ask any more questions about family matters. All was fine until the day before Christmas Eve when the next drama erupted. Daughter and the Boyfriend split up. (Well, I did promise to make it brief.) This was far more dramatic and emotional than I can recount here, but I'm sure you can imagine the mixed feelings. Of course it wasn't easy and Daughter was distraught, though equally sure that she had had to make that decision. She said that, having decided to be open and honest with Grandson, she had to also be honest with herself. To cut a very long story short, we all ended up here for Christmas (Daughter, Me, Grandson, Son and his Girlfriend) and a pretty emotional time was had by all. Actually it was lovely to have them here, and we were all supporting each other. We had the best time it was possible to have under the circumstances, although everyone also had colds, coughs and sneezes, but at least we weren't giving them to anyone else. And now I have Grandson and Daughter staying here until she can sort everything out: job, school, flat etc. (Of course they do say "Be careful what you wish for." :-) So far, so good, and we're just taking it one day at a time.

Oh yes, and Daughter (brave girl) did take Grandson to meet his real Father last week. I do admire her courage. In fact it went very well. And then she also took him to meet his paternal Grandmother and her parents (great Grandparents). Grandson is quite obviously both relieved and happy to know the truth, and he is also delighted to be discovering so many new family members. He still has to come to terms with the next lot of upheavals, and I really hope that we can help him through them.
Now we're just having a couple of days chilling out before the next instalment.
Happy New Year, and all that...

PS. I knew I would miss dear old Terry Wogan, but the reality is much worse than I had feared. Where, oh where, is he in my hour of need?