Saturday, January 2, 2010

A Happy New Year - you can say that again..

I don't really know where to start, but first of all I'd like to wish all my faithful (and oft-disappointed) followers a very Happy New Year. I would also say a very belated Merry Christmas, but it's far too late for that! I have plenty to tell you, but it's going back a bit, so I'll try and be brief...

When last I blogged, things were looking pretty bad (see above). Just after that it was Daughter's birthday (she was 28 on the 12th) and she ended up coming here to celebrate with a little Birthday tea (jelly, cake and candles, that sort of thing). Son and his Girlfriend came too, and they all went out to celebrate for the evening, with several of her old girlfriends from Cambrige days. So far so good, but the next weekend we had planned to have a heart to heart with Grandson, and to try and explain to him about his real Father. This had us all feeling nervous, mostly because we just wanted it to go as well as possible for the little chap. As you will all be aware, he had been feeling pretty insecure about "family". But in the end, it went amazingly well. He had obviously been anticipating something, and was very receptive to what his Mum and I told him. It was all clearly and honestly explained to him, in simple language, and we drew him a family tree with little illustrations to explain who was who in our family. We had some photos of when he was born, and they showed who was there at the birth: Me, Daughter, real Father and (of course) Grandson who slipped out looking decidedly blue, with the cord around his neck! Son was also there in the hospital, as was my Ex-Husband (with wife number 4), real Father's Mother and her Boyfriend (I know, I know), so it was quite a crowd in the waiting room. Anyway, the dreaded truth-telling went extremely well, and Grandson came out of it feeling fine about himself. And wanting to meet his real Father of course - more on that later!

During the next week Grandson stayed with me as he was on holiday from school and Daughter was at work - we also thought it would be good for him to feel really secure here just in case he wanted to ask any more questions about family matters. All was fine until the day before Christmas Eve when the next drama erupted. Daughter and the Boyfriend split up. (Well, I did promise to make it brief.) This was far more dramatic and emotional than I can recount here, but I'm sure you can imagine the mixed feelings. Of course it wasn't easy and Daughter was distraught, though equally sure that she had had to make that decision. She said that, having decided to be open and honest with Grandson, she had to also be honest with herself. To cut a very long story short, we all ended up here for Christmas (Daughter, Me, Grandson, Son and his Girlfriend) and a pretty emotional time was had by all. Actually it was lovely to have them here, and we were all supporting each other. We had the best time it was possible to have under the circumstances, although everyone also had colds, coughs and sneezes, but at least we weren't giving them to anyone else. And now I have Grandson and Daughter staying here until she can sort everything out: job, school, flat etc. (Of course they do say "Be careful what you wish for." :-) So far, so good, and we're just taking it one day at a time.

Oh yes, and Daughter (brave girl) did take Grandson to meet his real Father last week. I do admire her courage. In fact it went very well. And then she also took him to meet his paternal Grandmother and her parents (great Grandparents). Grandson is quite obviously both relieved and happy to know the truth, and he is also delighted to be discovering so many new family members. He still has to come to terms with the next lot of upheavals, and I really hope that we can help him through them.
Now we're just having a couple of days chilling out before the next instalment.
Happy New Year, and all that...

PS. I knew I would miss dear old Terry Wogan, but the reality is much worse than I had feared. Where, oh where, is he in my hour of need?

13 comments:

St Jude said...

Sounds like you had a bit of a rollar coaster going on there, but positive stuff too. I hope that things settle down again soon and that the New Year / decade bring good things to you and yours.

Donna said...

Now See There???!!! Daughter is NOT stupid! She knew all along he wasn't right for her but she IS stubborn!Hahaa...SO glad she made the right choice for her and Grandson!
SO glad your Christmas was a Happy one sweetie!!hughugs

aims said...

I can see you've had quite a different holiday season in your house this year.

I hope daughter's decisions stick. So hard to yo-yo on emotions and relationships.

Donna says it all. Daughter is NOT stupid. But love can be awfully blind can't it?

I laughed at wife #4. Count yourself lucky dear girl.

Expat mum said...

Dear oh dear - I hope this is coming out as a novel (with thinly disguised characters of course). But this will turn out for the best won't it? We all thought the boyfriend didn't fit into the picture.
Good job the little one has such a loving immediate family!

Rob Clack said...

Wow! Difficult times indeed. Good luck to you and I hope 2010 is easier than 2009! Rx

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Hi St. Jude, and thanks for visiting me. Yes, it's been very up and down of late! I'm hoping for a brighter and better 2010. M x

Oh Donna, I knew you would be right in the end! It's such a relief in a way - and then again who knows what's next :-) M xx

Dear aims, what a turn up isn't it? And the timing was immaculate.
And yes, I often have to laugh when I look back at life. Love M xx
PS - love is blind, that does ring a bell..

Hi Expat Mum - yes, it's drama all the way at the moment; with luck it'll all come right though. And typically I now feel rather sorry for the Boyfriend. Actually a book would be a very good idea and would allow me to work it through. Grandson is fine and seems to be coping very well.M xx

Hi again Rob, exciting times aren't they? I keep wondering when it's all going to settle down and become boring :-) M xx

family affairs said...

Happy New Year to you too - all sounds hectic with you as ever....mine is the same - if you want a proper catch up you;ll have to change the link to my new blog http://familyaffairsandothermatters.com - it's all there - drama as ever, but I'm coping better now I've had to say to Builder Bloke I can't see him at all...a shame but it's just too complicated and now I feel calmer and looking forward to a new year!! Got a lot to deal with as ex husband has announced he's marrying BB's ex in May!!! He's bought a big 6 bedroom house for them all and I'll have to keep calm and make sure the kids are OK with it all. Life eh? Lxx

Reasons said...

Good grief woman, sounds like you deserve a dark room to lie down in for a while! Wishing all of you a happy new year.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

My thoughts are with you and your family. That can't have been easy for you but as you say, it turned out well in the end. Now is the next step, celebrating grandson's new phase in his life.

Take care, CJ xx

Working Mum said...

Phew! That was some post! What a lot has happened, but it seems like it's all happened for the best. Just waiting for dust to settle now, I'll bet.

Anyway, all the best for 2010, hope it is a good year for you and your family.

WM x

AnnettSSours said...

wonderful ..................................................

Denise Burks said...

None of you will ever forget this Christmas!! I admire the candor and sensitivity and time and energy and support that you have given to your family.

Kudos! You are an angel.

Denise Burks

www.successinthesuburbs.blogspot.com
www.stepmotherinthesuburbs.blogspot.com
www.successfulweightlossinthesuburbs.blogspot.com

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Dear Lulu, yes I have caught up with you on both addreses - as you say, what a life. I can hardly believe the big house etc... well, I can but what can you say? Stay cool and just try and live your life as you would want it. Love as always, M xx

HI Reasons, yes it is still pretty frantic. Hoping for a calmer 2010. M xx

Dear Crystal, thank you for your thoughtful comments. Yes, we're taking one step at a time towards a better life! Let's hope anyway. M xx

Dear Working Mum, yes it was a total blast! And we're just letting it all settle now. Being snowed in has helped really, it's given us time to just chill. M xx

Hi there AnnettSSours, and thank you so much for visiting. M xx

Hello Denise, many thanks for both visiting and for your lovely comments - it has been very up and down of late, and, as you say, we will never forget this Christmas. It will take some time for us all to settle and move on, but so far we're all coping quite well. Many thanks also for your good wishes.
M xx