The truth is, I haven't been too well. Not exactly sick, and haven't been struck down with a disease (thankfully, touch wood etc), but what my Mum would have called off-colour. It started with a pain like a sharp knife going through my left hand, painfully tense back and shoulders, very shaky hands (more than usual), and a realization that I had had a very loud ringing in my ears for months. Suddenly I couldn't ignore any of it any more - probably because I could hardly turn my head in any direction. And my usual morning walk by the sea was a thing of the past - I just couldn't raise the energy or the enthusiam, even for a look at the sea. Something was wrong alright. So I dialled the number of the lovely Debbie Collins, who does Shiatsu Massage (if you're reading this, Billy, I know what you're thinking) and was lucky enough to get a cancellation - last Tuesday. Now Debbie is a wise woman - she is very skilled and when she gets her hands on you, you know you've been handled. She is also very spiritual and tunes in to whatever you may be thinking or feeling. Altogether this makes a visit a great experience, but you have to be ready for it. As Debbie asked her questions, and I gave my answers, it began to make sense. Her diagnosis? I have been living on Adrenaline for probably two years, and have been "strung out" to the point where everything was very wobbly indeed. In her language, "I don't think I've ever seen anyone where every point on the meridians was so tender." Wow! No wonder it was painful. It was true that every place she touched was tender if not painful - and some really hurt! The answers to her questions were telling too; for example, during the massage she asked if any fear had been involved during the long drawn-out Son/Daughter flat-selling fiasco. I laughed. "Debbie, I was shit-scared every day." I said. "Aah" she said, nothing more. At the end, as I lay there feeling completely spaced out, she gave me her recommendations. From now on it has to be "Me, Me, Me" (for a while anyway). The pains in the hand and shoulders are a warning indicator, and so is the ringing in the ears. If and when they get worse, I have to just walk away from whatever I'm doing. And I have to sleep a lot. In the afternoons and at night. In Debbie's words "Just do what pleases you, and take it easy." Apparently the pains will go, and the ringing in the ears (which I thought I had forever). After the massage I felt wiped out, came home and slept like a baby, and have been following instructions ever since. Oh, and I have a good old-fashioned tonic to take, called Floradix. Just what my Mum would have ordered.
So since then I have been taking it easy, and sleeping a lot. Thinking it would be a good idea, I also went to see my ABF in Kent, the Garden of England! She is still mostly sitting up in bed and getting about on crutches, but now has a lovely South African girl as a carer. Luckily her appetite has not been affected, so we ate well. I pottered about in her glorious garden, dead-headed and pruned the roses, and I also slept - every afternoon and every night - and have come back home feeling much better. The hand and shoulders are less painful and the volume has been turned down on the ringing ears by about 50%. So far so good.
Today is Father's Day, and I know that Daughter, Grandson and the Boyfriend are going to spend the day with the Boyfriend's Father. He has recently had triple bypass surgery, which was a success, so I hope they have a lovely day. Daughter is also expecting to see her Father, my Ex, tomorrow. He and wife No. 4 are on a visit from New Zealand (flying Club Class of course - nothing less), and will be staying in a hotel near Daughter next week for five days. As long as he doesn't come anywhere near me, and doesn't upset Daughter, I'll be OK (I can feel those shoulders tensing at the thought of it). I have already warned her not to let him get to her - and I know that Son doesn't want to see him. I'll just be feeling anxious from a distance, but I know that the Boyfriend will protect her and Grandson. That's his job for the next five days. Happy Father's Day to all you lovely Fathers.
PS. If you're curious about Shiatsu Massage, just Google it. I tried to find a link to put in, but they are very confusing and I couldn't get it right. There is a good one at About.com which describes the therapy perfectly.