Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Crutchless Knickers Anyone?

Oh how naughty, but don't blame me, it's all down to my friend MOB and her suggestion for getting my own back on The Wee Git. I think it's a great idea, but it has just occurred to me that I'll have to go out and buy some if I want to stuff them in his unsuspecting suitcase! Now this would be fine for some of my younger Blogging friends, whose intentions might be said to be thoroughly naughty, but I'm a Grandmother.. What do I say? "Oh, I'm just buying them for my Daughter." Or do I just stuff them in my bag and try to get out of the shop without getting caught? (This brings vivid images of Grandma Giles, if any of you can remember that cartoon, she would definitely have been up for it.) I know there are some saucy ads in even the Hove local paper for "older ladies" who are prepared to offer a "good time", but come on, that's not me. (Sorry, Billy, not even for you :-)

So now I need more suggestions. How on earth do I get hold of the crutchless knickers without getting into a really embarrassing situation? In fact, where do I find them? It's rather a long time since I was out there, if you know what I mean, and I'm not telling you how long it is since I last had sex. This is turning into a rather more complicated exercise than I had imagined. That Wee Git has a lot to answer for...

13 comments:

Maggie May said...

Have you got an Ann Summers where you live?
Maybe if you don't have the nerve to go in & get them, then you could send off for a saucy catalogue & buy them from there!
Trouble is with this idea....... you can only ever imagine what his face would be like when he opened the haversack. You would never actually get the satisfaction of seeing him do it.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Oh this has been such a chuckle for me! I have had such a great laugh here. Maggie has a point about seeing his face but you know, imagning it and how very bad it could get could be so much more fun as you can see every possible nuance is the wee Git's face. Oh sheer joy!

Suzysoo said...

Can you get your son to get them if you explain to him, or one of your male mates? It'd give them a laugh too!

auntiegwen said...

Ann Summers, they don't bat an eyelid at what you buy.

That sounds like I'm never out of there, but I promise I haven't bought or worn crotchless knickers !

Stinking Billy said...

margot, I don't know where you get the impression that I have an interest in sex? But I do appreciate the thought. x

Retiredandcrazy said...

I suppose you could always have sex with HIM before he leaves? Nah! bad idea!!

Donna said...

Crutchless knickers???Hahaaa...Crotchless?HAHAaaaa....
Try Fredericks of Hollywood.com
HAhahahaaaa.........
OR
Get a Honking BIG old pair from a proper ladies store.....with flowers on them....Hahaa...good luck...hughugs

Rob Clack said...

If you have time to order online, try putting 'crutchless knickers online' into google. Loads of hits.

I think this is a great idea! Go for it!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Now don't get me wrong, I've never had any myself but I do know you can get them from Ann Summers as Maggie suggested.

CJ xx

Expat mum said...

Say nowt! You don't owe anyone an explanation. As it's been said, they have seen and dealt with a lot more kinky stuff.
Or you could just get some old knickers and cut a big hole with your pinking sheers!

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Honestly Maggie, don't know what to do! There are obviously so many ooptions I didn't know about. M :-)

So glad you're laughing Mob, and I can see the funny side too. Just imagining him away from here is pretty good! M xx

Well that is a good idea Suzysoo, though wonder if Son would think I was up to something? M :-)

Thanks Auntie Gwen, and we do have an Ann Summers in Brighton - now I come to think of it!! M :-)

Hi Billy, don't know why, but I just thought of you :-)

Thanks RAC, you actually made me laugh out loud. What a great suggestion - not that I'll be getting anywhere near the little
******. M xx

Great, thanks Donna, I love the idea of the big old knickers - even better! M xxx
PS Will file Fredericks of Hollywood for future reference :-)

Thanks Rob, another great suggestion. I do begin to wonder if there's a future money-earner here in Hove!! M :-)

Thanks Crystal, I have actually seen the Ann Summers shop - never been in yet, but there's always a first time! M :-)

Oh thank you Expatmum, another huge laugh out loud from me - what a wonderful idea. I do like a creative solution! M :-)

Working mum said...

Looks like I've missed all the fun while I've been busy doing other stuff. I wish I could come up with something witty and pithy, but I can't. Love to know what you do though.

Working mum said...

Looks like I've missed all the fun while I've been busy doing other stuff. I wish I could come up with something witty and pithy, but I can't. Love to know what you do though.