Sunday, November 30, 2008

A Parting Shot...

I've had a strange week. I don't seem to have done much, so haven't had anything to write about really. I'm being slowly but surely brought down by the continuing presence of The Wee Git. He never goes out, he doesn't have any friends, he just chips away at me all the time, and sometimes it's hard to laugh about it. I'll just give you one example. About a month ago he started asking me if I would wash his scarf at the weekend. I said "No. I do one load of washing for you once a week (that's the deal) but not at weekends." He kept on at me so I agreed, eventually, and he brought down not just a scarf, but a whole bag full of washing. I emptied out this bag to see what was in it and, guess what, no scarf! I called up the stairs: "Arif, I thought you wanted me to wash your scarf - it's not in the bag ." He stood there and said "No, I have changed my mind." What did I answer? "Funnily enough, so have I." OK, it's funny, and he isn't getting his own way all the time, but I have to say it's getting me down, and he doesn't give up - he has asked me the same question every weekend since.

Anyway, he'll be gone in two weeks, and I have to think of a parting comment when he does go. Perhaps we could have a little competition? Please help me to think up something really good to say when he's leaving. So far, my best thought is "I wish I could say it's been a pleasure having you here." I'm sure you'll have some much better suggestions. Bear in mind that his English isn't very good, and hasn't really improved, because of his steadfast refusal to either take a job or go out and talk to any real English people (we're lower-class and all that). Help me, please. I feel that after my 10 weeks of endurance, I need to have the last word.


menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

How about 'Don't let the door smack you up the arse on the way out' and under your breath 'sionara you wee git!' Big smile, big smile. He'll be home before he works out the meaning of it!

Roll on the next two weeks - stick some womens' crutchless knickers in his case just before he goes home - customs will have a laugh or two.

Suzysoo said...

Hang in there, only 2 more weeks. Cant you stay at a mate's house for a couple of days here n there to break it up a bit instead of breaking his neck! You cant go to prison I would miss your blog far too much!

He is definitely taking the piss now, though. We'll think of something to say. One of us is bound to come up with a gem. Ive got my money on M.O.B for it! xx

Maggie May said...

I don't know about you, but I will miss him when he goes........ cos you make me laugh with the tales of him!
What to say to him....? "Don't forget your scarf. You are lucky that I didn't strangle you with it."

Titian red said...

"I so hope the future brings you all you deserve"....... passive aggression at its best/worst ?

Expat mum said...

"I do so hope you've enjoyed your stay with us mere mortals".

Donna said...

If you Ever marry...Please! Give her my best....

I'm SO Sorry you can't get rid of him Sooner!!hahaa....What a Jerk!! Don't cave in about the laundry!!hughugs

auntiegwen said...

I love mob s suggestion about the knickers !

I'll have a think on your parting shot, off now to spread knowledge amonst the teens of the world (ha ha ha, just to save you the trouble of laughing yourself)

bear up dear M he's nearly gone xx

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Oh Mob, what a great suggestion. I love the idea of the knickers in his suitcase. I'm not sure how to manage it, but will give it a try.
I'll definitely try to get the word "arse" in there somewhere - it's most appropriate. M :-)

Hey Maggie, that's another great idea - I must get that scarf in there somewhere! As for missing him, I don't think so - it will be bliss to wave goodbye to him. M xx

Hi Titian Red - how lovely of you to drop by with a suggestion - and a very smooth one too. I agree that he just won't get the subtlety
of it. I'll have to get my script ready! M xx

Oh you are naughty, Expatmum, and spot on too - I don't think he should be allowed to forget that faux pas. This is going to be fun!
M :-)

Oh dear Donna, it's just too good an opportunity to miss, isn't it?
IF he ever marries!!!!! Poor girl, whoever she might be.. M :-)
PS Don't worry, his laundry won't get the better of me.

Me too, Auntie Gwen, I've got to try and get those knickers in somehow. I am bearing up, but he is such a misery, and I do look forward to your suggestions. M xx PS. The rose wine is helping!

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Oh SuzySoo, how did I miss you out? So sorry... I so wish I could stay with a friend, but I have to cook his sodding dinner as well as breakfast EVERY DAY.. It's really been too much, but we are on the last legs, literally. Please let me know your suggestions - and I'm definitely going to try and put those knickers in somehow. M :-)
PS, The only prob there is that I'll have to go and buy them...hadn't thought of that :-)

Retiredandcrazy said...

Rise above it M, you don't have to stoop to his level. Think of all the joy he is bringing to you by leaving. Not long now.