Sunday, January 11, 2009

Time Out

I have been feeling so very lost of late, that I don't really know where to start. There's not much doubt that it started with the stupid business with the Wee Git - quite why it affected me so much I don't know, but it did. I suppose I have been very lucky with Students in the past, and didn't expect that sort of difficulty. Anyway, that set me off, and although Christmas with the family was lovely, we were plunged straight into Daughter's Hospital visit, and then Grandson's grommits. It's no wonder I didn't feel much like celebrating the New Year.

As it happened, Grandson had an OK time in the WaterPistol. I wasn't actually there for the operation, because they had to have him at Epsom Hospital by 8am, but Daughter gave me a blow-by-blow account, and he was fine except for one ghastly moment when he fought to stay awake (of course he couldn't have understood what an anaesthetic would be like), and that upset her a bit. It all went very well though, and he was soon back in the Recovery Room, a bit groggy and staggering around as if he had had one too many whiskies. After he had been checked over and had something to eat and drink, Daughter brought him over to me in the afternoon. He seemed alright, but I couldn't help commenting on the green tinge to his skin! Bless him, he was pretty well, though very tired, and was happy to snuggle down in my bed with a hot water bottle and a couple stories. He spent the next couple of days with me and we chilled out. We went for gentle walks, visited the donkeys, and he ate and slept heartily, so he was much improved by the time I took him back home. He now tells everyone that his ears are protected, and that he can hear much better, which is good news.

The other bit of good news is that Daughter and the Boyfriend are buying a house in a village near where they have been renting. I guess the Credit Crunch is good news for some, and they managed to negotiate a good price on a house which has been on the market, without any offers, for 10 months. I hope that it all goes through without a hitch, but they have had a really hard time getting a mortgage, despite having jobs and a good deposit. The Banks, those greedy buggers, are still refusing to lend to people, despite having been given huge amounts of our (the taxpayers) money. They obviously think that Golden Brown wanted to make up their profits for them - poor devils - because they weren't making quite as much money out of us as usual! The whole thing stinks, and though I feel heartily sorry for ordinary people who are in financial trouble at the moment, I don't feel one jot of pity for the big earners and those financial institutions who have been making obscene profits for so many years at our expense. I hope they actually experience a bit of hardship - maybe even a bit of anxiety about paying their gas and electricity bills- just like the rest of us.

I think my malaise is a lot to do with not being a hands-on Mother any more; if I think back even to this time last year, I was in the thick of it, trying to sort out Son's Flat and Daughter's move. Lucky me, it was a full time job really, and now I miss it. I know that this is what happens, and that it's normal and healthy for my two grown-ups to get on with their lives without me. I just didn't expect to feel quite so redundant. I'm sure I will get used to it, and I'm resolving to get back to E-bay selling, and to enter some more writing competitions. My Horoscopes for the year are very good - apparently I have Jupiter in my sign to bring me good fortune, new directions and brilliant opportunities. All I have to do now is grasp them with both hands. Here goes...


auntiegwen said...

It never seems to be just the right balance does it ? I sometimes crave time without them but when I have it, do I enjoy it ? use it productively ? or just miss them ?

You know the answer to that don't you ? xx

family affairs said...

Now what you need is a bloke to keep you busy! Lx

softinthehead said...

I hope your year improves and things start looking a bit brighter. On a positive note, it must be good to know your children are settled, independent and happy. :)

Maggie May said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I also get feelings of being redundant, even now.

Glad the grandson has got his ear operation done safely and glad your daughter has got her house. This blasted Government has got us all over a barrel at the moment..... not just mortgages but EVERYTHING.

I do believe you are missing your lodger! LOL

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

It's just the general malaise that we all feel at the start of a new year probably. There is a big adjustment to make when offspring spring off but no doubt in time you will start to fill the void with more pursuits that enrich you. It's hard but eventually very rewarding.

Rob Clack said...

Glad to hear Daughter, Son and Grandson are doing OK and sorry to hear you're a bit down.

At the risk of seeming brutal, forget Jupiter. Horoscopes are nonsense. You are responsible for making your own good fortune and you should take pride in doing so.

Actually I know that you know all this already, having read endless postings of yours that make that abundantly clear. And even this one has several ideas for how you're going to make life better.

Good luck, and have a wonderful 2009!

Working mum said...

We carve out different roles for ouselves at different points in our lives. Maybe 2009 is the time for you to carve out a new role. See it as an opportunity and seize it!

A Woman Of No Importance said...

I think MOB is right; Reading around so many blogs, so many of us are feeling just like this at the turn of the year...

And I'm not certain that having Phill Jupitus rising is good for anyone!

Seriously, you have set great plans to feel better, don't let anything get in their way, apart from your darling grandson, of course...

Anonymous said...

Hey, I don't think they'll ever get on with their lives without you - you're an inspiration to them.

You're right about the banks too, make you sick don't they.

Grandson would have lapped up the lovely homely feel to your company as he convalesced (sp).

CJ xx

Donna said...

Hang in there sweetie!! And DoNot run out and get a man!!LOL...One will find you when you're ready!
Money problems are bad here as well...When the first 350Billion was given out, banks started Buying other banks...GEEZ!! etc...Now Obama has asked Bush to ask for the second half (350billion) before he leaves office on the 19th....You KNOW "we the people" won't see any of That money either....idiots!!!!
Stay with it sweetie! You'll find you groove soon!!!hughugs

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

You are so right, Auntie Gwen. It's never perfect, and we just miss them like mad when they're off enjoying themselves. Ah well, that's life I guess. M xx

Funny you should say that Lulu, but just today I had a phone call from a prospective chap! Out of the blue, but who knows? M :-)

Dear Sith, of course that's right. I do feel happy for them, and I know that's the way it should be. I've nothing to moan about really, I just miss them! M xx

Dear Maggie M, you made me laugh out loud - of course I must be missing him!! Duh.. Anyway, I'm feeling better with every passing day - and Grandson is just fine! Hope you and yours are well too. M xx

Dear MOB, wise words as ever. I am beginning to look forward and outward - it's the only way really. M xx

Dear Rob, thank you - and I love your down-to-earth look at life. It's spot on, and I am making forward moves, as you say. I like to look at all the alternatives, and I always ignore the horoscopes if they're not favourable anyway!!
M :-)

Dear Working Mum, more wise words and a really good take on the New Year. I'm just about ready to grasp the good stuff with both hands. Thank you..M xx.

Hi, A Woman of no Importance, thank you so much for visiting, and for your wise words - I'm so lucky to have good Blogging friends who look out for me. You seem to have me completely sussed' I'm ready for new challenges and
for new friends too - I'll be over to visit you soon. M xx

Dear CJ, many thanks for your kind and encouraging words. I did have a lovely time with Grandson of course. And thank you for your thoughts about my two grown-ups - they've been my 'raison d'etre' for so long. Time to move on, but not entirely without them! M xx

Dear Donna, oh how you make me laugh. So funny that I should have had a phone call from a (possible) man today - will keep you posted. I'm so sorry I haven't been to visit you for so long - and it sounds as though you have even worse problems over in the USA! I guess we just have to keep our heads down. Hugs and love, M xx

Expat mum said...

Although I hate to use the phrase "When one door shuts, another opens", but it may be right for you in 2009. You're very lucky to have a delicious grandson who loves your company, but now you get to write/Ebay whatever you want. Seize the opportunity!

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Dear ExpatMum, I'm seizing for all I'm worth. It's good advice and I intend to take it.. thank you. M xx

Dusty Spider said...

Sorry to hear you so down. But it will pass. Making the adjustment to let go and concentrate on yourself is hard for someone who has been helping everybody else out for so long. You're normally a positive person so you'll soon bounce back. Wish we lived closer so we could have lunch and sort the world out! Flick x

Suzysoo said...

You're very welcome, M. Sorry to learn that you feel so down. It might help if the bloody weather cheered up a bit for a start!

Hope you feel a bit more perky soon. Your selling idea sounds like a good way to move forward. Jolly good luck, you deserve it. xx

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

dear Flick, thanks so much for your support, and I wish we were close enough to meet up too. I'm gradually sorting myself out though. It just takes time. M :-)

Dear Suzysoo, thanks so much. You're right, the weather hasn't helped. I'm trying to get organised with Ebay again, slowly... M xx