An Apology and a Rant..

Have just realized that I was actually tagged again - by my dusting friend, Dusty Spider. So sorry, Dusty, to have left you out of the previous post. I'm hoping against hope that the list I posted yesterday will do for this one too - I despair of thinking of any more interesting things about me. But I will get together a list of wonderful, deserving Bloggers to pass it on to. Duck now..

I have been reminded by another Blogging friend about the mostly appalling behaviour of men when they are getting divorced and are faced with parting with some of their money - especially when it's for frivolous expenditure like feeding and clothing their children - or keeping their ex-wives out of the workhouse while they are doing all the physical (and emotional) work involved in bringing up the next generation! I may be exaggerating slightly, but in my experience, and the experiences of many of my friends, this has been an all too frequent occurrence. My Daughter still remembers the times when I was reduced to tears by her Father when the children needed new shoes, coats, or anything else that seemed excessive to him! These awful encounters, mostly on the telephone, were shaming too. My self-esteem was on the floor for many years because of our financial dependence and his avowed determination that we should not ever be allowed to feel either comfortable or secure. Despite an "agreement" which was reached between us, I was never allowed to feel that I could depend on it, and always had to account for every penny I spent. I did this, and smiled, mostly because I was trying to keep the peace and make the childrens' relationship with their Father a reasonable one. It didn't work. Because the more I bent, the more he leaned on me. It's the rule of the jungle I suppose. With hindsight, I probably should have told him where he could stuff his money. (I'm sure we would have survived.) And I know for sure that I should have gone to a lawyer and not depended on his "goodwill".

Fortunately I don't have to speak to him any more. He now lives on the other side of the world, and is married to wife number 4. Not that I mind this in the least - it seems perfectly fine to me (and I'm so pleased I'm not still married to him). We don't speak because of his attitude when Daughter was dumped with my baby Grandson; he wouldn't help her financially (which was desperately needed at the time) because he assumed that I would have had some money left over from our financial settlement of five years previously. Despite having paid for two children at University, who were living, eating and quite unreasonably, wearing clothes, and even taking into account that he had screwed me down as tight as he could on the said financial agreement, he thought I might have been living it up on the proceeds. I emailed him a reply which I should have sent him many years before, but which was nevertheless satisfying because I said, at last, what I needed to say to him. But I never cease to be amazed at the meanness he can exhibit, towards his own and only children. He has already told them that he intends to leave them nothing when he dies! (It's all going to wife No.4, who is "his life".) The sooner the better, as far as I'm concerned.