Saturday, March 29, 2008

Looking forward, Looking back..

I've just come back from a wonderful classical music concert at the Dome. It was the London Philharmonic Orchestra performing, and we had the Overture to the Thieving Magpie, and then a Beethoven Violin Concerto, followed by Scheherezade by Rimsky Korsakov. Just fabulous. The violin soloist was amazing, and brought tears to my eyes with his playing. Scheherazade always reminds me of our dear old Stepfather Cyril (whom we called Squirrel), because it was one of his favourite pieces of music. He was a bluff Yorkshireman who called a spade a spade, and wasn't much of a looker either, but he was pure gold. He and my Mother met while on holiday in the Italian Lakes. They had each been persuaded by friends to go on this holiday, and apparently Squirrel had taken the place of someone who cancelled at the last moment, so we always thought they were fated to meet. Anyway, he fell for my Mum on sight and she ran the other way. He pursued her throughout the holiday (they were both in their fifties at the time) and then kept turning up on our doorstep afterwards. My Mother held him off for months, but he was determined. In the end he persuaded her to marry him, and it was the best thing she ever did. He loved her so much and they used to go for walks, hand in hand. Squirrel loved Classical music and played his records whenever Sister and I visited, which was fairly often. They hadn't been married very long (about three years) when he was diagnosed with Lymphoma, which was then quite incurable. Sadly, he didn't last very long. He was put in the Royal Marsden Hospital, which was wonderful, and my little Mum went to see him and sit with him every day, from St. Albans to London and back again on the train. She did this for six months, until he died, and although we were expecting it and it was a blessing in the end, it was terribly sad. By the time he died, they had been together for only four years, and she was devastated. I think their time together was the only time in her life that she was really happy, and she had had that happiness snatched away from her. My Mum lived for another 18 years, but she was never really happy again after Squirrel.

Bad news for my planned trip to France - Son's Completion date is now 24th April. I felt very fed up when I heard it this morning, but there's nothing I can do about it. I just have to get on with it and make a new plan. Must phone BF in France and see if and when she can fit me in. I just hope she won't be too pissed off.
Heigh Ho, life is what happens when you're making other plans, I suppose. Again ...

16 comments:

Casdok said...

Glad you enjoyed the concert. Sorry about Cyril, such a romantic and sad story.

girl with the mask said...

Awww, that really is a lovely- but sad- story.

Thank you for sharing it.

G.I.M x

girl with the mask said...

Awww, that really is a lovely- but sad- story.

Thank you for sharing it.

G.I.M x

aims said...

My heart went out to your Mom - and to you as well....Poor sweet man - and to only have such a short time. Sigh.

I know you will be happy when your son is settled and his things are all out of your place. Does that mean you will get to use your loft again for yourself?

And BF's are BF's because they can understand....usually.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

I've just popped by here and caught up with your blog. I was away too long and have spent about an hour going back several posts and very entertaining they are too.

My mother married the love of her life and was only with him four years before she died. He made her happier than anyone else did and I loved him for that. I could really identify with your story about your mother and the squirrel. Great story and well written - you had me hooked on in there.

Dusty Spider said...

What a beautiful Love Story. Did my heart good! Sorry your plans have been scuppered. Just have to make new plans! Keep smiling. Flick xx

Maggie May said...

I was really enthralled by your love story & it was so sad that it had to end in such a way. I am really sorry.

Frankofile said...

"Old age ain't no place for cissies" (Bette Davies). As women are usually the ones left to age alone, my admiration, grief and fear grow..

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Thanks to all of you for your comments:

Thank you Casdok, life's stories often are sad, aren't they? But it was a very real romance, and her life would have been poorer without it. M xx

You're welcome, G.I.M. My Mum's story was a sad one in the end, but they had a lot of happiness too. It was heart-rending at the time. M xx

Thank you Aims, it was both a happy and sad time - and he was such an old dear. Yes, I get the loft back, but want it to be empty really - nothing hanging over my head! M xx

Hi Mob, nice to have you back again and thanks for your comments.
I'm so pleased you liked my Mum's story - she had a sad life really.. M xx

Hello Flick, and thank you too. It's great to know that real love exists, however sad the outcome. I'm busy sorting out the next lot of plans! M :)

Thank you Maggie, yes it makes poignant reading now - and of course you can't see it while you're living through it. M xx

Welcome Frankofile, and thank you for your comments. I didn't know the Bette Davis quote - how true. My Mum was a little soldier really!
M :)

the mother of this lot said...

A lovely story. Glad you enjoyed your concert.

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Hi The Mother - thank you for your comments. The concert was great, and stirred up all those memories! Music is wonderful, isn't it? M xx

family affairs said...

That is so sad about Squirrel, but at least he persevered and persuaded your mother and she found some unexpected happiness...just goes to show, you just don't know what's round the corner - thx for advice re speed dating - can't be doing with gold medallions! x

Donna said...

What a sad story...with lots of love...glad she had him in her life...hughugs

Elizabethd said...

Wonderful concert!
Sorry your holiday hasnt worked out. Where were you coming to ? The weather will be better later on, if that is any comfort.

Mean Mom said...

That's a touching story about your mum and Cyril. I had an uncle called Cyril, a true Black Country man - also a character. Flat cap, long black overcoat, chain smoker. He lit one cigarette from another and lived into his 90s.

One of my aunts married late in life and married a man 10 years older than her, so she wasn't married for very long. She was happy, though. It's better to have loved and lost etc

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Hi Lulu, yes, it was both happy and sad - and she did at least have that love! M xx

Dear Donna, yes, her life would have been pretty sad without that love. M xx

Thanks, Elizabeth, actually was planning a recce down near Toulouse to see where I might like to buy! My friend is there - but we have to put plans on hold!
M :(

Hi Mean Mom, he was the only Cyril I knew, and was a true blunt Yorkshireman - great. And he did make my Mum very happy! M xx