I was feeling rather better about it all this morning. More philosophical, I suppose. And having comments and support from other Bloggers really does help in these situations. So when Daughter and Grandson arrived this morning, I was so pleased to see them, and couldn't help realizing just how much I love their shining faces. Grandson came up the stairs saying "It's me, Nana" and holding his arms out for a cuddle and a kiss. I also managed to have a good talk with Daughter, and said that whatever I do or say, I will always love her and be there for her - I only want the best for her. I also said how much I will miss her when they move. And I felt better for saying it all. When I gave Grandson a kiss and said "I love you, because you're my special boy", he hugged me very tight round the neck and said "I love you Nana cos you're my special girl." As my Sister said, when I told her, you can't buy that!
I have started reading "His Dark Materials", which Son has been urging me to read for the last year at least. He was right, it's great and I have been sucked in and transported to that strange world created by Phillip Pullman. It's weird, magical and also oddly familiar. I suppose the real genius with that kind of writing is to make it very believable and yet foreign and mysterious. The story is fascinating and the characters crackle with life, fire and energy. It's a huge book, and with any luck it will take me at least a month to read. I only read when I go to bed, so I have ended up the last few nights burning the midnight oil. I know I should go to bed earlier, but life is just too exciting!
Friends have been phoning to wish me a Happy New Year - friends who have been away, that is. My Cornwall BF came back from staying with her famous sister on Long Island, but didn't have a great time because her bloke took to sulking and didn't crack a smile the whole time!! Some compromises are just not worth it. Mother of Hon Grand-daughter sent me a message on Facebook to say that they were back from Majorca, having had a great time. But my Brighton BF is not back from France yet, though due any day I should think. My other Brighton BF is having a horrible time because she has had some flu' type bug for more than a week (and has just got through her first Christmas without her dear Mum). Good news from my Gay Friend in London though, because the chemo has shrunk the two tumours and he is feeling like shite but happy!